Learning to Mourn With Those Who Mourn
Learning to Mourn With Those Who Mourn
By McKell Jackson
Her tears started before my own. It surprised me. Life had been busy; now we chatted and caught up as the kids played on the playground. I explained my dad’s unexpected passing a few months before, carefully keeping my emotions in check. When I finally glanced up, she wiped tears from her cheeks. My dam broke and the tears fell as she pulled me in for a hug. We cried together and for a moment, I wasn’t alone in my grief. Even though she had never met my dad, her love for me eased my burden.
It seems that so many in my circle have been touched by death in recent months. I’ve heard it said that Heaven’s recruitment plan is a little steep right now. I’ve learned much about mourning with those that mourn as others have voluntarily joined me in my pain: kind notes sent on social media. A friend who knowingly smiled as I shared yet another story about my dad. When my siblings shared little everyday things that remind us of him. Or when my mom opens up about the things that help him feel nearer. When we are able to help others feel that their grief is not a burden, we are truly mourning with those that mourn. When we are willing to enter into their pain with them, we express true empathy.
President Russell M. Nelson said,
“Latter-day Saints, as with other followers of Jesus Christ, are always looking for ways to help, to lift, and to love others. They who are willing to be called the Lord’s people ‘are willing to bear one another’s burdens, … to mourn with those that mourn;... and [to] comfort those that stand in need of comfort.’ They truly seek to live the first and second great commandments. When we love God with all our hearts, He turns our hearts to the well-being of others in a beautiful, virtuous cycle.” (The Second Great Commandment, Oct. 2019).
I am so grateful for the plan of salvation, or the plan of happiness, as we rightfully refer to it. To truly feel happiness and peace, despite the loss of a loved one, is a miracle that the Lord offers to us all. Pondering His plan has invited that peace deeper into my heart in recent months. Elder Robert D. Hales said,
“Understanding the plan of salvation, coupled with sincere prayer, changes the way we see life, everyone around us, and ourselves. Understanding the plan clarifies our spiritual vision and allows us to see things as they really are.” (The Plan of Salvation: A Sacred Treasure of Knowledge to Guide Us, October 2015).
As others have offered their support and love through the loss of my dad, my heart has been lifted. Though the pain is still present, it has been easier to accept Dad’s transition to a new sphere of influence. Though it's not constant, I'm grateful for the moments that I've known he was near. I feel softened and humbled as grief has carved into my soul new understanding and patience for myself and those around me. I have felt an increased desire to bear others’ burdens, as they’ve done for me. And now I have a new arsenal of ideas to choose from.
My dad’s life was not glamorous or flashy. It was simple. Mother Teresa’s “do small things with great love” describes Dad’s life. To be successful at that would be a life well-lived.
